All I want is for my son to be a Bar Mitzvah

Is that so much to ask? Why, I ask, is it that seemingly, the Synagogues (if you'll pardon the expression) buy into the stereotype that all Jews have big bucks? When our son was 2, we joined a Reform Temple. It happens to be the same temple my husband was Bar Mizvahed in 46 years ago. New building, new location, (moved to where the money went, don'tchaknow) And of course, new building fund. $3,000.00 Add 10% of income for "dues" that we received a bill for, $400.00 annually for 9 months of Sunday school, and around $500.00 each year for 9 months of Hebrew School. That is a lot of money. I understand it costs money to operate a schul, to pay teachers, electric bills, rabbis, cantors, and secretaries. And I understand that we Jews don't, for the most part, attend services regularly, as many Christian congregants do, as they pass the plate and give what they feel they can. However, why is it that synagogues don't trust that Jews will give to the place where we receive our spiritual guidance and our children receive their religious education? We have to receive a bill?
When our son was nine, (the year he would start Hebrew School to begin preparation for his bar Mitzvah) we planned to move to another state. Our house was on the market, it was summer, and we expected things to move along quickly. When you want to hear G_d laugh, tell Him your plans. We withdrew our temple membership, put a contract on a house in the new city, and everything went crazy. The housing market here (where we still live) took a nose dive. The house we had put a contract on, upon inspection, showed itself to be a money pit, and we cancelled the contract. Meanwhile, school and religious school started up again. I went to the membership director and explained our situation. We expected to be moving very soon, however did not want our son to be behind in his religious school upon moving. Could we pay a per month fee pro-rated for Hebrew school, Religious school? Absolutely not. We needed to REjoin the temple, pay full tuition for the year for both schools, AND continue paying into the building fund. I was in tears. A call to the rabbi was ignored for ten days. When he did return my call, I was told that it would be unfair to everyone else to make an exception for us.
Now mind you, when we joined this temple, I had a conversation with the membership director, wherein he told me that only 20% of Jews are affiliated with a synagogue. He speculated that this is because Jews don't want to admit the bills are too high for them to afford, or ask for financial help to pay for the education of children.
DUH. Perhaps if the amount of money we give to our synagogue were left to our conscience and our faith that G_d will provide our needs, the percentage of membership would go way up.
So back to the moving/not moving thing. When my husband had to be hospitalized with a serious condition, our son had anxiety over moving so that it made him ill, and our house never sold, we decided G_d was telling us very plainly that we were supposed to stay right here. We have not, however rejoined that, or any synagogue. We have had our son privately tutored for an hour every other week for over a year. He has another year of studies before he will come of age and preparedness to be a Bar Mitzvah. The challenge? No Torah. No Torah, (which are found quite exclusively in synagogues) no bar Mitzvah. You aren't a member, and haven't paid tens of thousands of dollars to the synagogue? Too bad for you. I'm dismayed. I Love my religion. I despise the way people in authority within that ORGANIZED aspect of Judaism exploit it.